IN DEFENCE OF CELEBRITY WEBSITES

halforangeBLUEsmile00001


July 2015, Half an Orange

Gwyneth Paltrow; Reese Witherspoon; Jessica Alba; Blake Lively: memorise these names for these are the celebrities that know better than us. If my word alone isn’t good enough for you, you can tell by the fact that they all have lifestyle websites telling us how to live. Even Lena Dunham has a newsletter now and, as we all know, she’s the voice of a generation, so it must be true.

Naturally in the past, these websites have come under fire from people who don’t name their …read more

CULTURE

IDIOT FEATURE: LAUREN’S LATEST LEAK

Spindle Log

7th October 2014, Spindle

A moment of sympathy for Lauren Goodger: former TOWIE star and forgotten victim of the latest nude celeb photo releases (albeit, not a name counted amongst the A-list Cloud hacked).

You’ve got to love Lauren, if only to make up for the complete lack of basic self-love and respect she demonstrates on a bi-weekly basis. Sadly, it it all seems to have gone downhill for her since she broke up with ex, Mark Wright, and left TOWIE. Now contenting herself by …read more

CULTURE

IDIOT FEATURE: KIM’S CARPET CUDDLE

Spindle Log

29 September 2014, Spindle

This column would like to break from tradition and finally heed the words of parents, teachers and inspirational quotes on Facebook that ‘if you haven’t got anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all’. And since just not saying anything isn’t a possibility for editorial reasons, nice it will have to be.

Fitting in with this turning of a new leaf, one man in particular has recently come to my attention, a man whom I would now like …read more

CULTURE

IDIOT FEATURE: KANYE COCKS UP

Spindle Log

18 September 2014, Spindle

Put your hands up for Kanye West! Possibly because they’re the only things you can put up… amiright, Kanye?

The pillar of inexplicable arrogance, self-delusion and questionable fashion in its human form that Kanye West is has been brought to this correspondent’s attention more than once in recent months, usually when he was making some grand sweeping comparison that would place him in his eyes in a similar light to the civil rights campaigners of …read more

CULTURE

IDIOT FEATURE: KATE MIDS PREGNANCY

Spindle Log

12 September 2014, Spindle

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the world’s become a rather depressing place, recently. The constant threat of Isis hangs over our heads, Scotland might be dumping us at any second and I’ve just come back from holiday with a mosquito bite on my elbow so large, it looks like a nipple, so naturally everything looks as bleak as can be right now.

Thank God for the Royals, who have once again come to the aid of the nation and provided us all something warm and fuzzy to …read more

CULTURE

IDIOT FEATURE: VMEHS

Spindle Log

28 August 2014, Spindle

What a bank holiday weekend it’s been for showbiz with our much loved stars of both the pop and television worlds coming forth to receive worldly recognition, as both the VMAs and the Emmys took place.

As we all know, aside from a post-mortem examination of the deserved winners and shamefully unacknowledged, the latter can largely be boiled down to a hit list of the best and worst dressed women and while this correspondent would love to (and easily …read more

CULTURE, MUSIC

IDIOT FEATURE: SCORNED GWYNETH SNAPS BACK

Spindle Log

19 August 2014, Spindle

 

What a sad time for love this is. Hardly a week goes by without the news of a formerly hot and heavy couple swiftly snuffing out their relationship coming with it. One minute, they’re risking sand in untoward places while they go at it on a Chanel bath towel on some exotic beach; the next, they’re being forced to face up to the very real and sobering calendar of family events that the winter inevitably brings with it, deciding they’re just not up to …read more

CULTURE

IDIOT FEATURES: #MICNY

Spindle Log

12 August 2014, Spindle
Continuing with this column’s penchant for dross about celebs that are one bad credit check away from becoming impersonation acts of themselves at children’s birthday parties, it’s over to NYC where the cast of Made In Chelsea have been seen spotted in multi-coloured Ray-Ban wayfarers, pouring champagne over their faces and screaming ‘BRUNCH!’ really loudly on repeat; generally gearing up to give …read more

CULTURE

IDIOT FEATURES: SLASH SLIPS IT IN

Spindle Log

What a week it’s been in the world of celeb news. Orlando Bloom has shown himself to be an autobot sent to do the world’s bidding and decked Justin Bieber; Prince Harry posed in a photo with another ginger; and Lauren Goodger, formerly of TOWIE, has become the latest victim of revenge porn, with a seven minute video of her and her ex leaked onto the internet and doing the rounds. Torrid, TORRID affairs.

Really, who can say what was the most shocking piece of gossip of …read more

CULTURE, MUSIC