POOR JEN POSSIBLY PREGGERS?

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December 13 2012, Spindle Magazine

Like, O. M. G. Hollywood’s favourite old maid may not be barren!

The rumour mill —  the same one behind such LOL-stories as ‘Lady Gaga’s a Hermaphrodite!’ and ‘Tom Cruise and John Travolta: Straight!’ —  is wheezing away on overdrive, diligently spreading the joyous word that Jennifer Aniston may have finally fulfilled her destiny as a woman by filling her womb with child.

Well, praise bloody be! It’s about time. Goodness knows her fallopian tubes must have spent the past 20 …read more

CULTURE

X-RATED XMASES- THE CREEPY UNDERBELLY OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC

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December 7 2012, Spindle Magazine

Welcome, dear friends, to the inside of my head. Please, won’t you duck under that tinsel — watch the Christmas tree, mind — and come join me by this crackling fire. Mistletoe? Oh, why not. It’s December, my favourite time of year when, as anyone that knows me will be able to tell you, I am overcome with oodles of festive cheer, joy and merriment to the most obnoxious degree. Feel that cool breeze on the back of your neck? That would be the collective sigh of ex boyfriends …read more

CULTURE, MUSIC

5 WAYS TO BE FASHION FORWARD IN DUCT TAPE

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December 5 2012, Spindle Magazine

PSST, you. Yes, you! Lean in. Come closer. No closer, come on, I won’t bite. I just want to share a few home truths with you about Spindle, which is terribly classified information, which only a few choice people are actually privy to. Ready? Okay.

First, drink the vodka like it’s about to run out — it invariably is. Two, there will always be the promise of canapés, you must not let yourself be fooled. Three, one of our number is in possession of a …read more

CULTURE, FASHION

TUPACALYPSE: HOLOGRAM CONCERTS

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December 2012, Spindle Magazine Issue 6

Isn’t one of the, much vaunted, signs of the apocalypse the dead rising from their graves and walking among us? hence part- though admittedly it’s pretty terrifying even without the double whammy of our impending doom- of the hysteria surrounding the recent cannibalistic, 28 days later-esque stories that have been splashed over the pages of the Daily Mail and, more worryingly still, reputable papers.

Yup, these are disturbing times indeed.

Formerly, …read more

CULTURE, MUSIC

DON’T JUDGE CHRIS BROWN

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November 20 2012, Spindle Magazine

We’ve been doing our best to ignore Chris Brown for a while now. Admittedly, this hasn’t always been the easiest of tasks. It’s as if he has some giant appendage extending directly from his forehead that he keeps waving about in order to get our attention and occasionally prodding us with. A bit like a unicorn.

For example, just as the furore of torch-wielding villagers and vigilante mobs following the brutal attack of ex-girlfriend Rihanna had died down to the point where people presumably not on …read more

CULTURE, MUSIC

THE UNBEARABLE CUTENESS OF PUGS

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November 2 2012, Spindle Magazine

I’m going to be honest: when I first conceived the idea for this feature, it was largely as a response to the sheer volume of pug related media that I’m assailed with on a daily basis (FYI guys, when it comes to journalist/PR wooing, I prefer the swag). ‘Ah,’ I cannily thought to myself, ‘here is something completely inane and ridiculous I can write when taking a break from Serious Journalistic pursuits, maybe when hungover, that will cash in on that Friday afternoon traffic, …read more

CULTURE

CHANTELLE’S TWITTER FRENZY OVER ALEX REID’S SEX DUNGEONS

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October 31 2012, Spindle Magazine

Mon Dieu! Sacrebleu! Voulez vous coucher avec moi! And thus ends our French. We’re fuzzy on the exact meanings of the above phrases, but are pretty sure they all translate into the same thing: namely, have you seen (and here we drop our voices into a conspiratorial whisper) those tweets?

Alors, pardon us, we’re all a twitter after the latest grievous scandal in the world of the Z-list celebrité — a world in which we don’t mind admitting that we occasionally …read more

CULTURE

SIMON’S LATEST SCANDALS

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October 24 2012, Spindle Magazine

What’s that we hear? That dastardly Simon Cowell has been up to some wily old tricks? We’re shocked. If the rumours that abound are to be believed— and we do so, unreservedly—  it’s been a busy week for the Svengali, who has been accused by that yappy little Irish fellow of sabotaging the chances of some X Factor pups who supposedly threaten the position of Cowell’s wunderkinds, One Direction (lending an unnecessary weight to that other rumour he so loves to propagate: namely that there’s …read more

CULTURE, MUSIC

BEARDLESS BRAD STILL EMBARRASSES

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October 17 2012, Spindle Magazine

In a surprising turn of events, Brad Pitt managed to simultaneously mortally embarrass himself and turn off men, women and (educated guess, here) Clooney alike in one fell swoop. The surprising part is that he did so without one of those mangy, is-it-a-dead-cat-is-it-actually-his-facial-hair beards he so loves to sport that, at best, looks like something lost hikers would wander into Never To Be Seen Again, save for, perhaps, some ‘found footage’ of …read more

CULTURE, FEATURE-CULTURE

OFF PISTE SKIING IN FRANCE

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October 2012, Fit For Europe

Forget the lengthy queues for the ski lift, dodging the crowds on the slopes and churning up the same powder that’s been subject to the skis of the entire resort, more and more skiers and boarders are ditching the over crowded slopes to seek out new, untouched territory by going off piste, of which there are many in the French Alps.

Ah the backcountry: the place where you get the chance to find the holy grail of snow conditions and be the first to ride …read more

CULTURE